American ads, what do they say, what do they mean?

(image http://glowstickaurora.deviantart.com/)

Being continuously attacked by aggressive advertising is quite overwhelming when you first arrive in the US. What’s even more amazing is the fact that spinning reality does seem to work. There are dozens of such examples. Here I bring a few:

The first is a true copy of a note I saw in one of the government offices in Connecticut. I just wonder what crossed the mind of the person who ordered this notice:

Fraudulent activity is illegal. 

I saw the second ad on the train. It was euphemistic, so like the new version of the bible, I allowed myself to rewrite the ad in everyday words, while keeping the meaning unchanged. Personally, I don't find the idea very attractive, but it does seem to work:

Call us if you want to turn your injured child into a cash cow. 

Medical advertising is unfathomable for those who come from a more socially conscious world, where such practice does not exist. Here, I kept the spirit of the original ad unchanged:

Get your lobotomy done here, and get the second one free 

Such advertising is both amusing and alarming, and I wonder if I ever yield to it myself, and let it determine my thinking and actions. Is it as mind-boggling for those who have lived here long, or is it really the way should be?